Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
from now on my penis is your penis
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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