There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
