the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
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