Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
