Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
