Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
