I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize