I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
