there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm too high and old for this...
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
