Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
