I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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