Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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