I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
