Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
There's a naked man in my car right now.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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