The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I supernannyed him into submission
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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