wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
