is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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