yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Randomize
