i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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