david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
