What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
