just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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