I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
