i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize