Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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