Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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