You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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