As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
