Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
