i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
