We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
