...so i touched it.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
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