and you said cock pushups were impossible
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Randomize
