You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
