bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
