you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
