literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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