If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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