I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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