Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
