i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
