My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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