whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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