Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
