whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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