I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
It's not a walk of shame if you run
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
