did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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