Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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