Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
