Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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