well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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