that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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