Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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