we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
