throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
