Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
