She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
