You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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