i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
