am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
