Grow some girl-balls and come out already
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
