I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
